AlterNet Readers' 10 Best Comments of the Week!

By AlterNet Staff, AlterNet. Posted September 8, 2007.

Here are this week's Top Ten comments, where AlterNet readers take their turn writing and offer moments to display their brilliance. Whether it is a one-liner that critiques the validity of an article or a longer, essay-like post that adds historical perspective to the topic at hand. This week, our commenters dealt a great deal with the role of women in U.S. society, whether it was regarding Mrs. Craig standing by her badly behaving husband, the gender politics of stand-up, or the role of men in abortion conversations. Our readers delved into the psyche of Thomas Friedman, the state of the U.S. government, and why we work so hard at our jobs. Here are the illuminating Top Ten (in no particular order, of course):

Talkville responds to the interplay between the interpersonal politics and social politics of male involvement in abortion in Courteney Martin's article, "Why Men Should Be Included in the Abortion Discussion".

Here's the conundrum: "When I was in high school, one of my friends got a secret abortion."

If secret, then the male involved was not informed of the girlfriend's condition. It was a decision she arrived at autonomously, as is her right.

I agree wholeheartedly that the conversation about abortion must include males as well as females, friends, families all the way up to general discussions of articles such as this. It is highly important, however, not to conflate and confuse such a conversation in its concrete particularities and in more theoretical circumstances. In other words, the "abortion issue" ought not to be confused with a particular woman's existential decisions when encountering an unwanted pregnancy. As a citizen, she has the right to speak or not about the situation, even including whomever she had relations with that brought the pregnancy, as she has the right to decide on what to do about it.

The ISSUE of abortion can and should and is being discussed, conversed about, debated, yelled about, and more and has been not only in our own times but in other historical periods. The problem comes when OTHERS decide, force, oppress and legislate upon a woman in those particular circumstances. It's a matter of social discussion and conversation which, the more fully it is discussed the more fully it influences each one of us to consider it and thus arrive at each of our decisions about it. It might, perhaps, be called responsible civility and development towards a fuller and more just Polis. We must remember, though, that no citizen has the right to infringe on the liberty of another; and laws which alienate a portion of a citizen's body (for instance, the reproductive organs) and rule separately over this portion, in effect dismember a citizen and thus have severe problems with justice. All the aforementioned assuming, of course, a republic, which it must be granted is very difficult to discern these days.

Further thoughts on heterosexual relationships, specifically marriage, Gravitas responds to Susie Bright's column, "The Sexual Self-Interest of the Cuckolded Wife" by talking about the myths that permeate society:

This article seems to have missed its own point!

How does the Senator's wife stand up there without puking? As the author said, some women go into denial. But it is hard to tell from the author's tone if she is compassionate or critical of them.

Other commenters have pointed out that rich women know the rules of the game. They don't expect monogamy. BINGO! And if they go into it for economic security, social status, or other practical reasons and are willing to look the other way, that is their business.

I think one solution is simply to end the myth that sex always equals love. For those out there who have fairy tale relationships, good for you, I don't want to take it away. But for many people, life long monogamy is just not realistic. Maybe people should free themselves from the white picket fence propaganda. Not everyone is cut out for marriage. Some marriages work better if there is an open arrangement. There is no one size fits all relationship, gay or straight.

When I look at what I hate about my life in my late 40s, I can honestly say there were two lies that contributed to my downfall. One, if you become thin you will live happily ever after. Two, if you find Prince Charming you will live happily ever after. The are both delusions designed to keep women distracted from avenues of real self determination. I spent my energy on things that were totally irrelevant,and thus unprepared to meet the real crises that came my way. If I could go over and redo my life, I would give myself an early education on the myths we instill in young women. I would instead focus on financial savy, and career flexibility. And I would find some wise woman to preach to me that the best relationship is the one you have with yourself, it is not out there waiting for you in the form of a prince on a white horse.

When Emily Wilson asked, "Are Men Threatened By Funny Women?", one of our readers, J. Bo responded by citing other funny women:

Jerry Seinfeld said the same thing when asked about why women are not perceived as/accepted as being as funny as men, especially in the world of stand-up comedy-- he said that being on a stage and making an audience laugh is an inherently dominating, aggressive act; for the audience, to laugh is to be helpless. As a culture we (men AND women) are uncomfortable being put in that position by a woman. It's a pretty primal prohibition.

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