Home
Archive
Columnists
Video
Blogs
Discuss
About
Search
Donate
Advertise
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Register to Vote: Rock the Vote, powered by Working Assets Wireless
Advertisement
  • AlterNetYour turn

Support AlterNet
Do you value the information you're getting from AlterNet? Please show your support with a tax-deductible donation.


Feedback
Tell us how we're doing.

Environment

Dealing with the School Bully Epidemic

By Corinne Gregory and Lisa Finan, Huffington Post. Posted May 19, 2008.


Let's ask ourselves the tough questions about why there's so much bullying in schools, and actually be willing to be honest with the answer.
Advertisement

Unless you've been living in a cave the last few weeks, you have no doubt been bombarded with the horrific images of the recent rash of violent school-based incidents. Teens luring a cheerleader classmate to a home and beating her repeatedly while the video camera rolls; a teacher being assaulted in her classroom by students; a high-schooler throwing a metal chair at another in class knocking the victim unconscious; a 13-year middle schooler who admits that he planned to shoot up his school because he was being bullied.

Even more appalling than these animalistic acts themselves seems to be the general lack of outrage about them! A few choice "oh my gosh-es" and we seem to be done for the day. The media is more interested in post-game quarterbacking, trying to decide if these children should be tried as juveniles or adults, or whether a well-known comedian's mother's book would be the answer to these ills, than it is in actually analyzing the root cause and investigating solutions.

What's wrong with this picture?

We as a country spend billions of dollars annually on anti-bullying programs in our schools, yet the incidents not only continue, they appear to be getting worse in severity and frequency, and occur in increasingly-younger students. Today, our kids stand a one-in-four chance of becoming victims of some form of school-based violence before they reach high school. News flash: what we're doing isn't working!

So, the knee-jerk reaction is to play the blame game: it's YouTube, it's the Internet, it's broken homes, it's our global lifestyle. But, blaming isn't fixing. We have to accept that instead of trying to minimize or manage the existing problem of bullying and school-based violence, we have to focus on preventing it in the first place. Today's children are just not coming into school -- into life -- equipped with adequate social skills and character development that helps them understand that this kind of behavior is simply not OK. They are not taught to respect and value differences among people, in opinions, in actions. "It's all about me!" is the mantra of many of our youth today, and the behavior we see splattered all over the 'net is the result.

People may argue that social skills education belongs in the home, not in the schools, and I'd be the first to agree. But, our schools have become a war zone, where teachers spend more time disciplining students and trying to keep order than they do teaching! Is it any wonder our schools under-perform? If you were losing 20/30/50% of your average educational time because of behavior issues, how effective do you think you could be?

The good news is that there is a better way. Social skills education works, when properly implemented. Bullying is not just reduced -- it's eliminated. Not because there are more "enforcers" around, in the form of extra administrators, counselors, or police, but because the students won't stand for it. A comprehensive social skills program, integrated into the core curriculum, can restore order, sanity, and productivity to the schools. It raises student and teacher morale -- it even contributes to better test scores. It helps produce not only good students, but good people.

How many more of our kids must be intimidated, hurt, or killed before it becomes important enough to do something about instead of just talk about it around the water cooler the next morning? Our children deserve to feel safe, to feel valued when they leave our homes to go to school. We as parents and as taxpayers must insist that the increasing cycle of school violence be stopped.

Instead of just shaking our heads and saying what a shame it all is, let's ask ourselves the tough questions about why it happened, and actually be willing to be honest with the answer. Then we can start doing something to fix it.

Digg!

See more stories tagged with: schools, bullying

Corinne Gregory is the Founder of SocialSmarts. Lisa Finan is the Director of Business Development for SocialSmarts.

Liked this story? Get top stories in your inbox each week from Environment! Sign up now »


Advertisement

 

Comments Turn comments off sitewide Give us feedback »
Comments closed.
The comments for this story have been closed. Thank you to everyone who participated.
View:
Kids get bullied because yuppy parents, with their college degrees in psychology...
Posted by: blogbooks on May 19, 2008 1:33 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...trying to teach adult style "conflict management" to children.

Children are vicious little animals on whom words have no impact.

Every child, no...every American, should be trained and ready to stand up for themselves or their loved ones in any conceivable situation.

As with most things in a child's life, the parents are to blame. Don't let your kid get soft playing video games.

Keep them physically active, train them to fight, and teach them that there is strength in numbers.

Weakness invites aggression. The solution is to remove all weakness.

As Putin said of America once, "brother wolf knows whom he can and cannot prey upon." So it is in life.

Lupus est homo homini.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» Perhaps . . . Posted by: Scientz
» RE: Perhaps . . . Posted by: carbon-based
» RE: Perhaps . . . Posted by: improperly_sedated
» Hahahahahaha . . . Posted by: Scientz
» It's not your condescending tone Posted by: improperly_sedated
» Fair enough. Posted by: Scientz
» Immediate assumption? Posted by: improperly_sedated
» Perfect. Posted by: Scientz
» I'm with improperly_sedated Posted by: pfeifer999
» or maybe not.... Posted by: pfeifer999
Monkey see, monkey do
Posted by: mizipi on May 19, 2008 1:44 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Our nation is a "bully", so our children only do what their government teaches them to do. Pick on Iraq and Afghanistan, two nations, much like Vietnam, that are vulnerable. Bomb them into the stone age, it seems one of our leaders said. Killing innocents, becomes collateral damage. A few years ago, I remember a story on NPR about how the bullying at Columbine had decreased since the incident there. So in this New World Order proclaimed by Pres Bush #1, the two kids that did the shooting should have been praised for their actions.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: Monkey see, monkey do Posted by: wagadog
» RE: Every kid is different Posted by: UnEasyOne
Life skills
Posted by: phindrup on May 19, 2008 3:51 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
In my view learning to cope with bullies is a life skill. Different kids use different techniques. A good many learn to use humour/ridicule, some learn to attach themselves to a ‘protector’, some learn to fight.
At school in the early forties teachers seldom interfered. I was a small, quiet kid who was happiest when I was reading. I went to a tough school.
Eventually circumstances forced me to stand up and fight back, not very effectually, but it was a start. Over time I learned to be effective. It was the one thing I had over the inevitably bigger bullies. They were just thugs, whereas every time I was beaten up I learned something. Eventually I started winning.
The lessons learned have served me well all my life. Don’t back down to anybody. Look for the weak points and attack those.
You do not have to become unbeatable, just so much of a handful that it is not worth the trouble of annoying you.
Within reasonable limits, let the kids sort it out for themselves. The skills that they learn will benefit them all their lives.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Susan Rosenthal
Posted by: Susan Rosenthal on May 19, 2008 4:02 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
How disappointing!
I thought this article was going to ask the TOUGH questions.

Bullying doesn’t begin in school.
Our world is saturated with bullying.
Stronger nations dominate weaker ones.
Employers target one worker, or group of workers, to control the rest.
Teachers humiliate one student, or group of students, to discipline them all.

Children learn by mimicking adults.
Every day, the people in power demonstrate their right to use violence against the less powerful. Judges dismiss police brutality, and politicians build prisons, persecute immigrants and launch wars.
Childhood bullying is a "copycat" response to these social practices.

Pre-school kids play games like “king of the castle” to prepare for a world of winners and losers. “Cowboys and Indians” is practice in domination and subordination.

This article condemns bullying among children, but not in presidents, politicians, judges, generals and CEOs.
It’s not fair to blame children for what adults create.
In fact, it’s just another form of bullying.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» Well said, Susan Rosenthal Posted by: pete ess
» RE: Susan Rosenthal Posted by: sully18
» RE: Susan Rosenthal Posted by: eshatter
Yes and No
Posted by: socialpsych on May 19, 2008 4:23 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Yes, bullying among young teens is definitely not good. But the alarmist tone of this article probably distorts reality:

"Today, our kids stand a one-in-four chance of becoming victims of some form of school-based violence before they reach high school."

The insinuation is that kids today are more rotten than they have always been. But haven't violence and cruelty among hormone-crazed teenagers always been pretty much the norm? When I was in junior high school in the late 1960's, I was punched, slapped, humiliated, and intimidated a number of times, and I saw plenty of the same behavior all around me.

What has changed is the technologies available to kids that can facilitate or amplify their misconduct. They can broadcast nasty text messages about classmates, post humiliating videos on You Tube, and spread rumors on FaceBook and MySpace. And they can borrow Dad's gun to get revenge. Same evolutionarily-based behavior, different tools.

Can we change hormone-driven aggression among young teens? Probably not. But it would not be impossible to control the tools kids often use to act out their aggression and poor judgment.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» balderash Posted by: e rice
» RE: balderash Posted by: DaBear
"It's all about me!"
Posted by: kepstein7777 on May 19, 2008 4:23 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
However many programs the schools implement, ultimately it does go back to the parents, many of whom have made their kids the center of their universe. One of my theories is that there is conflict between the universe their parents have created for them, and the real one.

In trying to resolve this conflict, kids have resorted to bullying, MySpace pages, grand schemes to blow up the school, and other methods to build their real-world selves into the one Mom and Dad have imagined.

I partly blame Harry Chapin for this. He helped enshrine the idea that if you don't spend that extra moment of "quality time" with your kids, you will be kicking yourself the rest of your life. But in the real world, you may often be too busy paying the bills, doing the wash, and fixing the car to bring your kids to Disney every weekend. And in my experience, it's perfectly okay, and a valuable lesson for the kids to see that.

I suppose "social skills" education might help, but I think the best education would be to de-program parents from the Soccer Parent mentality, and teach them how to stop breeding little narcissists.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: "It's all about me!" Posted by: wagadog
no real information in this article
Posted by: aislinnluv on May 19, 2008 4:46 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
suggestions as to how to implement this social skills instruction? does this include a change in administration policy concerning zero tolerance, so that a child who is being bullied and tries to defend himself is not punished? (obviously, there are degrees of allowable "self-defense"). simply advocating the teaching of social skills does not adequately deal with cultural differences that might mean one child is already more inclined to bully to get his way and one child is culturally coached to be more passive. simply having a course that students are required to attend will not guarantee success. the problem lies deeper and will not go away just because we tell our children that there are better ways to deal with their feelings than finding and beating up a weaker child. my kids were bullied and i found that the schools' attempts to deal with the situations were not only ineffective but also likely led the offenders to believe they could offend again with impunity. ("punishing" a child by suspending him from school? laughable! a kid who bullies is not likely to be a highly-motivated student who desires to attend classes and get good grades). i don't know how we can reach kids who have a cavalier attitude toward serving time in prison. when kids do things without a thought toward consequences, or when the consequences don't matter, what is there we can do?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

vapid
Posted by: kiel on May 19, 2008 4:56 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I agree with the posters who bemoan the lack of content here. Furthermore, the writer is guilty of the same self-centeredness that it blames bullying on. Bullying is worse in Japan than the U.S., for example. So any hypothesized connection between uniquely American sources (e.g., the "our country is a bully" argument farther up the comment list) is specious. A much more reasonable case could be made (and has been, if the author had bothered to read any of the massive research into bullying) is that it happens in adolescent populations around the world, but that it manifests itself differently in different cultures, and that it is responded to differently in various cultures.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Bullies and terrorism
Posted by: carl baydala on May 19, 2008 4:58 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It is heartwarming to read the comments by those who feel like I do about this topic of bullying. I think about this topic frequently because as a teenager I was bullied as well. That was in the early sixties. From this personal experience I would say that at root to the problem is the issue of power. People on this board recognize this element of the problem.

I see no difference between a school bully ( or in today's context a group of bullies ) and a president of a country who decides that it is OK to pick on weaker countries because he has the power to do so. I think you would agree that a school bully and a president of a country are not entirely synonomous, however. But, their actions are both expressions of their power to commit an act of violence nonetheless. The school bully is perhaps acting against his weaker counterpart in order to perhaps gain some status with his peers or to provide some relief from his own weakness in society. School children generally are weak participants in the broader society, much like prison inmates who are ruled by authoritarian figures. So, we might surmize that authority has something to do with our problem of bullying. Perhaps, in a way then the school bully is acting against authority and his general position of weakness. Maybe, like the prison inmate he sees no future or sense to the organization to which he belongs. He rejects it.

Both the school bully and a president do have responsibilities, however. Both are acting irresponsibly in causing harm to those with less power than themselves. A school bully has no right to cause physical or psychological harm to his peers. If schools ar so bad that they cannot correct the problem then perhaps we should consider doing away with schools if that is all they can do to create people who cause harm in others. Maybe schools are ineffective institutions and are not real places of learning to begin with.

Our president, however, much like the school administrator must set some kind of example to his underlings. I have severely criticized the school system above because they really are much like prisons, and prisons are not pleasant places to be if the only objective is to control a population rather than teach it something useful. But, back to our president. Others have already pointed out that this is the individual who must provide strong and meaningful leadership for his country.

Clearly, this is not the case in the United States.

Leadership by example would mean that our president is guiding his citizens to freedom, peace, and prosperity. I don't think the population is seeing much of these things lately. And, that is because our president is not doing his jobe effectively. Not only is he acting as bully in the international scene and abusing his power, but he is, through his actions, condoning the violence in society. Bullying on a school ground is easily explainable when you put the issue into context. If a Christian president speaks of love and understanding and peace among men, then what is he doing invading countries that mean no harm to him or his nation? A schoolyard bully or bullies seize upon these kinds of actions and use them to justify their own brand of terror. And, surely that is what a bully is - a terrorist, homegrown just like his president.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

enricopalazzo
Posted by: (Sigh) on May 19, 2008 5:11 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
First, can we please lose the phrase "zero tolerance"? Especially when dealing with children, this is a terrible position to take if we're striving for a better world.

To address issues of bullying, I think we should start with the smallest forms that start as early as preschool: social exclusion, name-calling, and teasing, to name a few. If kids can learn the effects of these behaviors early, they are unlikely to escalate into bigger forms of abuse. Parents can and should be teaching this, but schools can - and should - too. Many parents are not equipped themselves to recognize and correct their kids' behaviors. Yes, they may be overly involved in their children, overly competitive on their child's behalf and narcissistic, or they just might be clueless. Many of us fail to see what's right in front of us, even when we are trying to. We're only human.

Because so much harassment and bullying takes place in schools is the reason schools should address it. Learning socialization and emotional skills in groups can be powerful and effective. It strengthens our kids and thus our society.

If a child sees one image at home (overly competitive parents, a father driving with road rage, family members calling each other names and making fun of people who are not like them), wouldn't it be helpful for him to learn that there are other, more respectful ways to behave?

Learning to respect others gives people self-respect. Teaching a child to be inclusive - to invite another child into an activity, say - gives both children a chance to connect. And some kids simply are not taught to do this.

Social skills education is effective and important, and really does not take as much effort or expense as many other curricula.

We should teach this because we can.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: enricopalazzo Posted by: DaBear
Bullying is no one's fault at its core.
Posted by: Annarisse on May 19, 2008 5:29 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Kids don't bully because their parents bullied them or didn't teach them social skills. They don't bully because their teachers taught them to, or their government taught them to. They bully because they are immature human beings, who understand that social positioning is an intricate dance, but they don't yet know all the steps. So they push too hard in one area and not hard enough in another. They say nasty things because they haven't yet learned the value of the social apology or other techniques for smoothing over rough situations. They believe passionately in fairness, but they don't know how to get it. The very last reason is copycatting, and that happens whether or not there are better examples to hand.

As for it getting worse - I disagree. I think it's being reported much more, and the internet allows it to be spread about in ways that were never before possible, but in our schools, on the ground, it's no worse than it ever was, and in many cases it's better. Kids know now that they can report the bullying. They know what is bullying and what is not. But I don't see the depth of bullying in my school and classroom the way it happened to me two decades ago.

This article was sensationalist, short on any actual information (such as quotes or stats from real studies) and unhelpful in any meaningful way.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» let's ask the hard questions Posted by: pfeifer999
» so you're psychic? Posted by: e rice
Bullying Is Caused By Foreign Policy? What The Hell?
Posted by: gigantor21 on May 19, 2008 5:35 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why are so many commenters relating foreign policy to the actions of children?

How many kids watch/read the news regularly? Or even care about the news? In my school experience, most were more interested in music, games and the opposite sex than politics. Before college, only a small percentage followed current events, none of them were bullies, and I haven't known any who believed in the current occupation anyway.

During the formative years, kids are most influenced by those around them--parents, friends, teachers, siblings, peers. Not politicians. In the first place, I don't see how foreign policy applies when so many people can't stand the war--and these incidents aren't just happening in highly conservative areas.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» how many ADULTS Posted by: pfeifer999
» RE: how many ADULTS Posted by: grn1
Terrytom needs data
Posted by: terryton on May 19, 2008 5:45 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Interesting article yet it too is mostly the, “ain’t it awful” game. The author writes of programs of success, please tell me where to learn of these. I was trained to ask where are your facts?
In reading many of the comments the general advice seems to be to fight back, more violence after the initial violence. Seems wrong on its face. My own experience as a young person of 7-10 is that I learned to escalate or retaliate in the extreme and picking on me stopped at once. There was a great danger in that as I had to be careful not to use it for other than defense. I became a dysfunctional adult, my late mother, bless her tortured soul, used to whip me nearly every day for any infraction real or imagined. That taught me aggression. She died when I was 13, an alcohol related death. At 9 I stood up to her, protecting my 4-year younger brother. I understood how these experiences affected me and never had any children so as not to carry this forward. Professionally diagnosed I was very angry yet I never struck the first blow. I could however, with words get most to swing on me within a minute, with disastrous results for them. How sick was that?
Today I’m much better, much older; nearly 69,and I’ve worked hard on overcoming these character defects. I do this through a spiritual journey including a study of eastern Religious Philosophy a good AA program and blessings to many to list. I have never accepted war as a solution to any problem. I am not a pacifist and I don’t believe in gun control. It is sometimes necessary to defend oneself. Our present war is criminal and those responsible for it should be punished in the extreme. So where are the facts on how to become a peaceful person at an early age with so many examples to the contrary?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: Terrytom needs data Posted by: bloominblacksheep
» RE: Terrytom needs data Posted by: Zoe's
Blatant advertising. BOLLOCKS.
Posted by: Vaxalon2 on May 19, 2008 5:50 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Gee. A call for teaching social skills, from someone who sells a product teaching social skills.

Forgive me if I'm skeptical.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» Absolution Posted by: just john
bullies are cowards
Posted by: rfgtile on May 19, 2008 5:57 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I have rarely seen a bully that was not a coward. Look at the postings surrounding this political campaign and the awful things that people say while hiding behind their computer. Sometines I think that a goodly percentage of our populace are nothing but a case of arrested develoment.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: bullies are cowards Posted by: fred_53_99
» RE: bullies are cowards Posted by: sirios
» RE: bullies are cowards Posted by: (Sigh)
it's in the air
Posted by: Asses of Evil on May 19, 2008 6:16 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Look at who our leaders are. I'm not saying George Bush is directly responsible for xxxxx child in xxx state doing xxxxx. But that sort of leadership has a trickle-down effect. We have state, local leaders doing the same thing. Messages are sent and kids pick up on these messages. It's in the air in America these days.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» you're kidding, right? Posted by: pfeifer999
MD Wholistic Psychotherapist
Posted by: DJBMD on May 19, 2008 6:37 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Good article, pointing out the need for social skills to deal with bullying proactively.

Additional resource: Self-calming techniques that release anxieties, fears, frustrations, angers, emotional and physical pains.

See for instance WHEE: Whole Health - Easily and Effectively
www.WholisticHealingResearch.com/wheearticles.html

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

High School Teacher
Posted by: omnibozo on May 19, 2008 6:48 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Sure, let's teach an anti-bullying curriculum... along with all the other stuff we are supposed to do in class... wait... will this be on the test? If not, the kids are smart enough to blow it off and save their energy for something that will be on the multiple guess test.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: High School Teacher Posted by: WyrdSister
» Hostility and assumptions Posted by: (Sigh)
How did this article get into the "Environment" section?
Posted by: AsteroidMiner on May 19, 2008 6:54 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Shouldn't it be under "Rights and liberties"?
As in the right to not be assaulted and battered?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» Answer Posted by: pfeifer999
prof
Posted by: prof on May 19, 2008 7:16 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This article is little more than a web-mercial veiled as a report; it is a marketing tool for the authors' own product. Statistically speaking, bullying and school violence are NOT on the rise. As egregious as the recent incidents are, they should not be used as hype to sell one's own products.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Bullies have been around forever
Posted by: Ruby on May 19, 2008 7:19 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
New theories are not required to explain bullying. Bullies are unhappy, miserable and immature people--not just kids--who take out their misery on others. It's always been that way.

The bullies (kids) I know are not coddled by their parents, but pushed and berated by them. They treat others the way they are treated (or perceive they are treated). The adult bullies have never learned proper respect because it's not shown to them--and they never grow up.

The key, in my view, is to help the bullies in order to neutralize their anger/unhappiness. It is not sufficient to leave it to the victims of bullying to learn how to stand up for themselves.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I question that a real increase is happening.
Posted by: just john on May 19, 2008 7:35 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I question that a real increase is happening. I suspect it's just more visible.

That said, I do agree that it's a problem that needs to be dealt with. It always has been.

And I have no idea what would be effective.

But thanks for the reminder. As I enter middle age, I still remember the names of many of my bullies, and now you've made me realize I'm in a good position to take revenge on any surviving ones.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

mzunguhowru
Posted by: muzunguhowru on May 19, 2008 7:47 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Epidemic???? Puhleeze... There are no more bullies now than there ever where.

Just because little Jason/Justin/Jared the designer child has been emasculated before he went to school does not make things any more or dangerous than they ever were. Hierarchical Juvenile troop behavior among boys is natural and unavoidable and timeless. Some boys will dominate. Thats how it is. Teaching a boy (or girl)to defend oneself and roll with the punches when one loses is part of normal growing up. Adults should only intervene when it gets excessive or the age/power differential is to great. Other wise let em be. Its something we don't let kids do much of any more along with something we used to call "play" (not to be confused with "play dates") which in addition to providing opportunities for the troop to sort itself out and natural friendships and bonds to form (not the friends mommy chooses) helped dissipate energy and aggression. Epidemic..hardly even the occasionally brutal stuff has been there all along.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Phindrup has it RIGHT!!
Posted by: AMERICAN VETERAN on May 19, 2008 8:01 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I also went to school in the 40's.
Life in/after school was much the same for me as it was for him.

One day I came home crying and my Dad asked me about it.
I told him that the neighborhood bully had hit me, etc.
This bully was also a neighbor who lived just a few doors away and was always around.
My Dad gave me the best advice I ever received about being bullied.
He asked me whether I did anything to defend myself and I said no because I was afraid of the bully.
We had a long talk about it and, my Dad convinced me of the way to take care of this in the REAL WORLD.
He told me to defend myself the next time and, even though I was scared, I took the chance.
IT WORKED!!
The bully never ever picked on me again and, when some of my friends who were there began to spread the good news, the bully knew that he and his attutude were defeated.
He didn't pick on anyone anymore.
This was in kindergarten in 1945.

Now, here is something for you bleeding hearts to attempt to understand.
Even though I had a new found power which I learned from this experience, I did NOT become a bully myself.
What I learned from it was that it was up to me to take whatever action was necessary for myself and that assertiveness is good.

This "social edcation" BS is just that~~BS.

I did not become a bully and did begin to feel safe and comfortable in my skin after I learned this lesson.

If I had continued to tolerate the bullying, I may have ended up as one of those who acted out his frustrations.
My life has been good as, I learned many many other life lessons from that which happened some 60+ years ago.
One of the very best things which I found through this was self confidence.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: Phindrup has it RIGHT!! Posted by: VZEQICVA
» RE: Phindrup has it RIGHT!! Posted by: jareilly
What a bully is
Posted by: fred_53_99 on May 19, 2008 8:07 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A bully is a person or society that thinks it can get it's way by violence upon a weaker person. The bully is not a warrior. The bully is not willing to risk physical harm or pay any price for his habit;the warrior is. So the bully uses what he knows to work, superior power. But when it cost the bully something, most often a peice of his ass , he stops. The modern school bully uses the gourp to help him in the beat down becuse he fears going one on one with even the weakest child. My solution is this ; social skills programs yes but for the bully who might even be a little or big nut case physical power(fight back). One does not have to win ,only make it plain that whatever the bully does it is going to cost his cowardly ass something. If it's a mater of a group of bulllies( often boys raised by single mothers) get help(teachers adminstratior, parents ,police) do not face this mob alone. I know I seem sort of rightwing, non polically correct but sometimes force must be confronted. Ask the folks of Iraq.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: What a bully is Posted by: thealltheone
» RE: What a bully is Posted by: fred_53_99
» RE: What a bully is Posted by: DaBear
» RE: What a bully is Posted by: DaBear
VIOLENCE AND HURTFUL SPEECH ARE EVERYWHERE VISIBLE
Posted by: pushing50 on May 19, 2008 8:08 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
My kids attend one of the most venerable Quaker schools in the country. Even in this supposed haven of peacemaking, there is a level of nastiness that I would have been shocked to observe in the bitchy Manhattan girls school I went to in the 60's (think Mean Girls, and you will almost have the school address correctly).

The newest bit of nastiness is a humiliating put-down technique wreaked on anyone who answers a question incorrectly. At the start of the year, this was called "schooling", a term that I surmise comes from rap or hip-hop, and one which has deeply disturbing overtones for anyone who values education. Associating schooling, something that many people in this country were deprived of based on race or religion or ethnic group, with something so profoundly negative seems really counterproductive.

When discouraged from using this nasty term, the kids came up with a perhaps even worse form of torment and discouragement of intellectual risk taking; a wallop to the back of the head, called a "dip". While I admire the creativity of these 10 year olds, I deplore this intrusion of a violent behavior into the classroom.

Now, where did they get these appalling ideas? All I have to do is surf through the basic tv network and cable line-up to hear and see similar behaviors not only allowed but focused on with intimate and loving camera work, to the thunderous applause of live audiences. The kids see this around them and they do likewise. We are responsible, because we have given the TV industry feedback that says, "put trashy bullying lanquage, and violent behavior on-screen, and we will make it worth your while!"

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Alice
Posted by: AliceLand on May 19, 2008 8:10 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Another useless article! "Tut, tut, we have to start doing something", (hand wring in the background). *Of course* we have to do something! Everyone knows that. But did this article give even one suggestion?

All the kids involved in the beat up of the teenage girl with video should be EXPELLED forever, and put in jail. But do you think that is going to happen? We have zero tolerance for non-problems (kids hugging teachers and saying "Hugs, not Drugs" get suspended for sexual harassment), while we have wishy-washy punishment and allow some wrong-doers to go free because they were only on-lookers, or whatever nonsense-reason, for real problems. Kids who would beat up a person with video are not going to be "taught" some other way to handle their feelings. Society can not be worried about their feelings. They are wild animals, and belong in a cage. And, their parents should be forced to pay restitution to the victim.

I, for one, would not have my children in the public schools on a bet!!

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: Alice Posted by: DaBear
momfromhell
Posted by: athurlow on May 19, 2008 8:13 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Bullying is about power!! Bullies degrade and humiliate others simply to show that they can (and that, presumably, it amuses them to do so). Schools (and communities) enable bullying by communicating that certain groups or individuals are unworthy of protection, and may be considered "fair game." The lone misfit is often demonized, and will be blamed when he or she confronts the "pack." Bullies are the schoolyard equivalent of paramilitary groups, in enforcing the lockstep conformity that authorities desire (while maintaining official pronunciations in support of diversity and tolerance). Packaged anti-bullying and "character ed" programs are as meaningless as Denny's anti-discrimination posters, when school officials are tacitly empowering the bullying every day.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

MORE BULLIES OR MORE VICTIMS?
Posted by: VZEQICVA on May 19, 2008 8:15 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
We are all encouraged to "deal with" person-
alities that are disagreeable in varying degrees. Countless forms of agressive and unplesant behavior must be 'understood'. It starts pre-school and goes through to the job.
We aren't allowed to criticize any form of behavior that is offensive. Just suck it up. Volumes are written on tolerance and none on what to do when you realize that you're obnoxious. Thanks, ANNA

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

placate the brats
Posted by: sirios on May 19, 2008 8:30 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Ok,well here i go again. the core issue,problem, for me is the me, the I, the ego, as" it " is believed to be all that there is to life. That said and most likely misunderstood, Bullying,individually, nationally and internationally, sadly seems to be a natural phenomenon , probably having it's roots in fear ie: a preemtive strike affords an illusion of safety for the perpetrator,sound familiar. i lived in germany for eight years and i can report to you that the childeren of german famlies are NOT the center of attention,endlessly doted on and given something ,[a toy,a tv etc.] to placate them when throwing a tantrum, as in this country. we are a nation of brats who teach our childeren that watching violent tv ,playing violent video games, giggleing when young boys play with toy guns while remarking "how cute" etc. etc., is ok. Watching agressive video games has no emotional or physical consequences. So, if one is bullied at school and the response is an assault with real weapons it might seem appropriate to the young mind, because there will be no consequences.As usual i have probably oversimplified and will attract the verbal bullies on Alternet. well ,"bring it on you pussies" . the puritans are still alive and "kicking", sex is bad, violence is ok, as long as it is sanctioned by God.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» i mostly agree Posted by: e rice
» RE: placate the brats Posted by: jareilly
» RE: placate the brats Posted by: sirios
» RE: placate the brats Posted by: DaBear
» RE: placate the brats Posted by: sirios