Senator, do you masturbate?

Posted by Evan Derkacz at 12:42 PM on June 5, 2006.

The Federal Marriage Amendment (also known as the "We're Not Talking About Iraq or the President's Poll Numbers Amendment") is being debated today.

It's a pointless exercise in pandering. Here's where you'll find more on that...

But John Aravosis received a hilarious and powerful transcript of a phone call a reader made to Idaho Senator Mike Crapo (Duh-Id) in order to get his views on what's being called "traditional marriage."

Is Senator Crapo in favor of traditional marriage?
Yes he is, he's a cosponsor of the bill.
He is? Can you tell me if he masturbates?
I could not tell you that.
Can you tell me, do you masturbate?
I cannot tell you that either.
Can you tell me, does he commit sodomy, analingus, cunnilingus or fellatio?
What is the purpose of this questioning?
It's regarding his views on traditional marriage.
Okay, he supports the bill.
Yes, but could you tell me does he commit sodomy?
I could not give you an answer on that.
Is he willing to pledge that he has not or will not commit sodomy?
I could not answer that.
Has he ever had sex before or outside of marriage?
Again, sir, what is the point of this questioning?
It's regarding traditional marriage and how far his support goes.
Any one of those questions I could not answer.
Have you ever had sex outside of marriage?
Again, I will not answer that.
It's nobody's business, right?
That's right.
Okay, thank you.

On a similar note, according to Michael Huttner, ProgressNowAction sent this Fidelity Pledge to supporters of the FMA/IgnoreIraqAmendment back in 2004:

SUPPORTERS OF THE FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT

FIDELITY PLEDGE

I, _____________________________, pledge to the People of

(name of lawmaker)

________________________________________________________,

(office / jurisdiction that lawmaker represents)

that I will uphold and preserve fidelity in marriage. I firmly believe fidelity is essential to the sanctity of marriage and that each person who violates that fundamental commitment undermines the sacred institution of marriage.

Accordingly, as an elected leader I pledge my commitment to uphold fidelity in order to preserve the sacred institution of marriage.

________________________ __________________________

(Signature) (Date)

No takers unfortunately...

(AmericaBLOG)

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Evan Derkacz is a New York-based writer and contributor to AlterNet.